In memory of Auntie

I read the following tribute to Della M. Davis (1907 - 2007) at her graveside service yesterday in Gomer, Ohio:

I honestly don’t know how many great aunts I have. I know I have a lot. But in my life there has truly only been one truly great aunt…that’s Auntie. But she was more than an aunt. It is a role I have struggled to describe to people that don’t know her or our family—but one that I distilled down to a simple summary of she was much more of a grandmother figure to me…which people seemed to sort of get the idea. Interestingly the Spanish word for Great Aunt is tia abuela. Tia means aunt. Abuela means grandmother. Fitting in many way in this case, because she was both to me…and more.

Auntie was strong. Downright tough, in fact. Fiercely independent. Incredibly generous. She was slight in stature, but big in spirit. And sharp as a tack.

Family was an important part of Auntie’s life. Particularly our family. I know this because a lot of seemingly random people seemed to know a lot about my life (sometimes too much). She loved to talk about our family and I often kept up with other family via Auntie.

I learned from her that family is not defined by the number of children you have. For Auntie, family was the whole tree, not just a few branches. The many nieces, great neices, great great nieces and nephews, cousins, cousins twice removed, etc plus a vast network of friends ages 6-96 are part of that tree too.

Auntie touched a lot of lives. You could tell by the number of cards she received for her birthday, Christmas, or other holidays. She would literally have a stack of cards…and I would often marvel at the number of people that would send her well wishes. I remember one time, she quipped “pretty good, considering most of my friends have long been dead.”

That is one thing you could count on with Auntie. She was brutally honest. She spoke her mind and let you know how she felt. It was sometimes funny; always frank. I found it frankly, refreshing.

When I broached the subject about serving in the Peace Corps, I wasn’t quite sure how she would react. And instead of getting a nonplussed answer like, “Well, that is your decision.” She said, “I think that’s wonderful. You and Jeremy will be wonderful volunteers.” Having her support and encouragement truly meant the world to me. And on some of the toughest days down in Ecuador, I would think about her encouraging words and they would help get me through the day.

In thinking back about some of my fondest memories of Auntie…someone who has been an important part of my life---since I was born really.

Memories of her…
always creatively patching my pants as a kid…
…of making puffy iced sugar cookies…
…Auntie and Unk’s Mini (the Winnebago). Me and my brothers thought it was just soooo cool. We didn’t need to go anywhere, we had just as much fun playing in the Mini in Auntie’s driveway as we would at a campground.

…of her storytelling. Camping tales. Gomer School adventures. Nursing school stories. And one of my personal favorites was her stories about playing basketball. Because envisioning Auntie wearing bloomers and shooting foul shots underhanded, always made me giggle.

More recently, Auntie contributed to my vintage coat collection and addiction. In fact, I blame Aunie for getting me hooked. For, she gave me a bunch of her old coats…including her beautiful long brown leather coat she bought in Mexico…and her bright blue spring raincoat with big buttons and big pockets that was big on style… just not big on me. The sleeves were often a little too short, but I never cared. Every time I wore her coats I got compliments, and I would always reply, “Thanks, My ---95, 96, 97 or however old she was at the time—Auntie gave it to me. It was hers.” My coat collection was a source of mild tension in my marriage, as my coats clogged the small closets in or old house. On more than one occasion I would justify to Jeremy that I couldn’t possibly downsize my coat collection, because the coats are from Auntie. Thankfully, he knew how important she was to me. Anyone who knew me at all knew this.

So when my mom called me in Ecuador to tell me that Auntie had passed, she asked me to write a few words. I of course said yes. …but I felt like I needed to use my own voice. So I came back to pay tribute to this special lady. Someone who was an incredibly important part of my life. Someone who has touched many lives, and many generations.

So even though she is probably wagging her finger down at me right now for coming all this way---because she never wanted anyone to fuss over her--- I had to come. Auntie was too big a part of my life not to come. Family is important to me as it was to her. And so I join with our family to honor her memory and celebrate her long…and truly great life.