Notable Quotables

(this is part of a long entry detailing recent events) After my Gender and Development meeting, Shelly, my pal Andrea and I were able to catch a ride in the Peace Corps vehicle to the small coastal village of Tabuga. I was excited for my first glimpse of an Ecuadorian beach and to check out Andrea’s site…and for some much needed R&R. Andrea introduced us to “the Italian guy” who ran a local hostal which was located near her village and literally over the river and through the woods. Shelly and I settled into our cute little bungalow while Andrea went looking for her 19-year old brother who she had left in her house (room, really) for three days without any money. I believe I have blogged about Alex before, but to re-cap: he dropped out of community college, came to visit Andrea with his mom and other sister at Christmas, stayed here (or was left here, depending on who is telling the story) and is now living in the same small, rustic 12 x 12 foot room as Andrea. And… he is a trip and a half. He is a skinny 6’2” kid in constant motion. His mouth more than anything. And, oh did he have many-a quotable quotes (I’ll get to that later). Shelly remarked that when you are with Andrea and Alex, you really don’t need a radio or t.v. because they are entertaining on their own. Andrea was worried that she would find him alone in her room rocking back and forth on the edge of her bed, traumatized. But, alas, he survived his three days in Tabuga with his limited Spanish skills…and he didn’t starve. He ended up working (building a bathroom in the local dry forest reserve) for food…and hanging out with his newfound highschool friends.

So Alex and Andrea braved the rain, and crossed the swelling river in order to get to our bungalow to hang out. Shelly and I had done some shopping in Quito, so we busted out a bottle of wine (yes, you read that right…a bottle. No boxed wine for this group!) We ended up hanging out and telling stories and laughing and laughing and laughing. Shelly and I were laughing so hard we had tears in our eyes. The stories got crazier as the night wore on and we made our way through our second, third and eventually fourth bottle of wine. At some point in the evening the quote book was born. What started as a page of quotes that I “overheard” and wanted to remember the next day…became a full-on book of ridiculous quotes and bits of conversations over the next few days. While most of these will make little or no sense to the average blog reader, they hold special significance to our happy little campers…and to Angela and Toni, because they will undoubtedly recognize the voice of Alex in many of these quotes. My apologies in advance to anyone who may take offense to some of our crass comments. But really, get over yourself. We were on vacation at the beach!

So here goes:

----“the worst day of my life was the day I got my fake ID.”

---“she almost got Peaced out of the kick corps.”

---“you know the only time I ever peuked on dip…”

---“we live in the 21^st (century) now…wait, or is it the 22^nd?”

---“Remember, they (the cute male servers at the wine bar) asked us out!”
----“Yeah, but I don’t remember where we went.”
----“We didn’t go anywhere.”
----“Oh.”

---“I’m just a cooker.”

---“Oh my god you guys, I had a gyno exam at 8 a.m. by a handsome man who said that I had nice breasts because they were not fibrous.”

---“oh gawd! I’m his (Jer’s) aunt!!! No, wait…I’m his COUSIN!”

---“So many roads…so little laws.”

----“ Oh man, yesterday, I got chased by a herd of cows.”

---“Golf courses: they’re like cattle ranches for white people.”

---“Am I allowed to fart in a government car?”

----“I just really love black guys.”

---“Oh man! Is that a moose? Oh, no wait. It’s a cow.”

---“I’m just a sissy sipper.”

---“Age 0-12 and 80-death, no problem. It’s the guys in between I have problems with.”

(later)

---“Well, we know you like younger men.”

----“Hey, I’m over 12!”

---(said to a French guy on the beach)…“We use lots of French words in the U.S…like bidet.”

---“I think I like French people.”

---“I would be really good at having an arranged marriage.”

---“I mean, it is so wet, but so dry (the sauna).”

---“I’m itching my foot, dude.”

----“On my leg!”

---“Actually, if you have hair on your legs, it is a good exfoliator.”

---“I lose keys, I lose money.”

----“Me: I lose copies of my passport in my underwear!”

---“That guy who she (deleted) in the Sauna…yeah, I peuked in front of his mom”

---“Tom (Andrea’s U.S. guy) is just really good at being with hot girls.”

---“I love meat on a stick.”

---“I think she looks especially hot because she’s all shiny. F.C.U.K.”

---“That girl is getting whistled at down the whole road….oh wait, that’s a bird.”

---“They don’t sell wine there” (the bikini and sarong store).

---“Coctelitos…hahaha little cock.” (No, actually it means little cocktail)